At a glance
Embarrassment about seeing a doctor for anal problems is one of the most significant barriers to people getting help. It delays diagnosis, extends suffering, and can allow treatable conditions to become more complex. This guide addresses the embarrassment directly — not to dismiss it, but to give you practical strategies for getting past it.
Why the embarrassment exists
The embarrassment is not irrational. Our culture does not make it easy to discuss the anus. The area is associated with privacy, intimacy, and bodily functions that most people prefer not to discuss openly. Feeling embarrassed about showing a doctor this part of your body is a completely understandable response.
But the embarrassment can cause real harm when it prevents people from seeking help for conditions that are common, treatable, and not something to be ashamed of.
What doctors actually think
This is perhaps the most reassuring piece of information for people struggling with embarrassment: doctors do not find colorectal examinations awkward, unusual, or embarrassing. They perform them regularly. Hemorrhoids, fissures, abscesses, and other anal conditions are part of routine clinical practice.
Doctors are:
- Trained to examine this area professionally and efficiently
- Focused on the clinical problem, not on any personal aspect
- Accustomed to patients being nervous — and experienced at putting people at ease
- Far more concerned about patients who do not come in than those who do
What the appointment actually involves
Knowing what will happen reduces the anxiety significantly.
The conversation
The doctor will ask about your symptoms. They may ask questions like:
- When did the symptoms start?
- Do you have pain during or after bowel movements?
- Have you noticed any bleeding?
- Have you felt any lumps?
- How are your bowel habits?
You do not need to use precise medical terminology. Describing what you are experiencing in your own words is perfectly fine.
The examination
If an examination is needed:
- You will be asked to lie on your side on the examination table
- A curtain or screen provides privacy
- You will be offered a chaperone (a second member of staff present)
- The doctor will visually inspect the area
- They may perform a digital rectal examination (DRE) — a gloved, lubricated finger briefly inserted into the rectum. This takes seconds.
- They will explain what they are doing throughout
- You can stop at any point if you are uncomfortable
The examination is typically the quickest part of the appointment.
Strategies that help people get through the door
Before the appointment
- Write down your symptoms — you can hand this to the doctor if you find it hard to say the words out loud
- Book a telephone consultation first if you need to discuss the issue before attending in person
- Bring someone with you for moral support (they do not need to be in the room during the examination)
- Remember the numbers — millions of people have hemorrhoids, fissures, and other colorectal conditions. You are not unusual.
During the appointment
- It is okay to say you are embarrassed — doctors hear this regularly and it helps them adjust their approach
- Deep breathing while waiting — anxiety is physical and can be managed with breathing techniques
- Focus on the outcome — an examination that takes seconds leads to a treatment plan that can resolve weeks or months of suffering
After the appointment
People describe the overwhelming feeling after their first colorectal appointment as relief. Relief that it is done. Relief that they have a plan. Relief that the doctor was professional and matter-of-fact. The appointment they dreaded for weeks or months was over in minutes.
What people commonly say after going
- “I wish I had gone sooner.”
- “The doctor did not bat an eye.”
- “The examination was over before I knew it had started.”
- “The embarrassment lasted ten minutes. The condition had been lasting months.”
- “I felt ridiculous for waiting so long.”
When embarrassment becomes dangerous
There are situations where delaying medical care because of embarrassment carries genuine risk:
- Persistent bleeding that could indicate conditions requiring investigation
- An abscess that will not resolve without drainage and can spread
- Severe pain from a condition that has effective treatments
- Symptoms that change your bowel habits — these should always be investigated
The embarrassment is understandable. But the conditions it prevents you from addressing are real, common, and treatable. The appointment is brief. The relief of having a plan lasts much longer.